emotional breakdown

i cant bear with these problems anymore. how can many problems hit me in the face in just one freakin time? i know its dugaan and i need to take it as the way it is but i am not strong. i am never strong. i may look like one but deep down inside i am as fragile, easily volatile, as a cotton candy. yes, weird metaphor but that is how i feel right now. easily absorb and vanish once you get touch with water. anyway, lots of problem have been hitting my face lately.it's like "BAMM!". never know where it came from an in a split second, it's in front of you. sucks isnt it? yeah i know.

WHY MEEE????

i just wish money, grades, and ME didnt exist so that it wont effect other people around me with my continuous problems that i have jinx them with. i am truly sorry to everyone that i have cause problems with and i promise that right after this moment, i wont cause any problems to the ones i love and cherish the most especially my family. i am truly sorry as i failed on making you guys proud of me and burden you with my endless problems. but i believe in karma. you guys are the best and nicest person i have ever met and by that, sooner or later the rainbow will be shining at you guys and swept all the pain away.

i dont even know what i am writing. i dont feel like myself today so, i am sorry if anything that i wrote offended you.

from now on, SYAZA BINTI KAMARUDIN will take a vow that she will never ever dissapoint her parents and family ever again, will study her bum off, and make sure that she will succeed in life.

*baba and mama, if you are reading this. i love you so much and thank you for all the support that you have been given me from the day i was born till this very day. i love you so much and i promise you that i will bring success to you. after what all you have done for me, financial and emotional support, i cant even bear thinking on letting you guys down again. i know we aren't rich but you guys provide me with everything i need and want for that matters. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.

**i am crying as i am typing this.see, i told you i am a cotton candy.