i bet everyone have been through this. i dont know why im telling you this. i just need to get it out of my chest, right here right now. because if i didnt, i dont know how i can bear with it anymore. i might burst into tears the whole fucking night. trust me, i've done that few times and its not a pretty sight the next morning it is. with those baggy red eyes, red nose, swollen face, husky voice. one of my flaws is that i cant control my sympathy, empathy, sadness, emotional state to sum it up very well. if i want to cry, i'll cry. i can control my anger perfectly mind you. just the crying part. damn thats hard.
back to the first paragraph, the butterflies in the stomach part. okay, why am i getting those damn thing today? because today it hit me that i might never getting into IPTA . i got no chance with my SPM result i think. its not that my results are bad. but its not in flying colours. IPTS overflows me with dozens of offering letters but they did not have the course that i wanted. so, better not take it if you are going to learn something that you are not interested in. i dont want to regret it later.
by that, i lost hope in IPTA. i feel like crying right now and maybe i will after this. :') but, i wont give up that easily. so, what if i didnt get IPTA, its not like my life would be over. (but i still pray hard for me to get IPTA.) i have made my choice to continue for STPM. yes, i will. i'll study harder and better in STPM. but, i rather being in IPTA. if somehow i got into IPTA, i will never ever take advantage of it. i promise.
damn that's alot of IPTA there.lol
anyway, that is all for now.
xoxo,
syazy
